Since when?

Hiro: To save what is most important... I must be strong enough... to cut out my heart.

That is one of the most epic quotes ever in my opinion from Heroes...

So BLT has passed for this year. It has been a while since I wrote stuff, so I guess I have to write a nice amount.

BLT was good. Food was... not enough... as for taste... little complaint since my test buds are dead. However I do agree with the steep pricing of the food, I would much rather go out to eat than spend 10 bucks on the food they served... although dinner did have dessert...

Strand groups were pretty intense. Hopefully what we did I will practise in my day to day read to get better and learn more. Looking at what the passage we had, it's actually pretty easy compared to the ridiculous stuff you can find in other parts of the OT. Nevertheless it is still more interesting than NT to me.

Oh I guess over time I don't mind Paul's stuff as much... that's probably a good thing.

Talks were pretty good. I might have just been tired, drugged (it's amazing how crappy I feel after drinking coffee... never let me drink it again... no matter what I say), sleepy or distracted but I didn't get as much out of the morning session talk from Grant as I did from Gary at night.

Few of the things that really stood out for me from Gary's talks were:

- Would you still be a Christian if there was no heaven?
- How willing we are to die.

First one first. That is an interesting concept. If God did not promise heaven for His people, would we still honour, glorify and obey Him? The answer should be yes because He is God. But in reality if a person asked you, would you hesistate before answering? I think I would. A rather sad comment on humans from that is our greed and selfishness is greater than doing what is right. I'm sure that is not true for all people... if it is... WE SUCK.

Second one second. Gary told a story where a old man dying of cancer was quite ready to die, if not waiting to die. I guess for someone suffering from cancer, dying is a way away from the pain. But he was looking foward to meeting God. During the talk, the thought of death scared me. Mainly afraid if I was wrong and that after I die... nothing. That was quickly followed by my other side telling me the first side is wrong from various points. I guess my head knows the right answer, but for me... I need constant convincing sometimes. Still, at some point last year... or year before I remember being quite ready to die like that old guy. While I didn't thinking living was crap, but I just knew dying and meeting God would be so much better. I'm pretty sure I wasn't depressed... IF I was in the "negative" I was probably just numb. Now when I think about death I wonder what God would say to me. Usually they consist of me wonderign whether I had fulfilled my task as intended. If it was possible to know for certain that I had fulfilled my purpose, I wouldn't care how, when, where or why I died. I guess knowing I did my job is all I need to be content. Something nags me that this isn't theologically correct... but I'll think about that outside of this typing.

Man... that was heavish stuff...

On a lighter note... go check out www.failblog.org because it is AWESOME... there is a G rated filter at the top if you feel the need for that.

Happy Chinese New Year people... why can't they just ignore the lunar calendar and conform with the western people... sigh...